February 2012
36 posts
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“Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream...”
– Edgar Allan Poe
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When Your 7-year-old Son Announces, 'I'm gay' →
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I got an early admission to UVM (University of Vermont) yesterday, which was a nice surprise, although it is my safety school. It’s nice to know I have something to fall back on now though.
I had my therapy appointment yesterday and spent the session discussing morality, the idea of normal, the line between good and evil, and the de-institutionalization of psychiatric patients starting...
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“Awareness is the enemy of sanity, for once you hear the screaming, it never...”
– Emilie Autumn
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“Invisible things are the only realities.”
– Edgar Allan Poe, Loss of Breath
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“I am the ghost of an infamous suicide
My own blue razor rusting at my throat....”
– Sylvia Plath (via xdesecrate-thru-purityx)
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My therapy appointment on Wednesday didn’t go too well. I wasn’t in a very good place and couldn’t focus on much, mostly because I had been feeling detached from my body again. I felt insane explaining to her that half the time I don’t feel like I’m here, that I don’t belong to my body, that what everyone else sees isn’t me. She told me that is sounds...
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“When the soul suffers too much, it develops a taste for misfortune.”
– Albert Camus, The First Man
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“But when it came right down to it, the skin of my wrist looked so white and...”
– Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar (via wewatchourselvesdie)
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“Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are...”
– Sylvia Plath
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“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”
– Albert Camus
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“In the mind there is a thin alley called death
and I move through it as...”
– Anne Sexton
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“At the heart of all beauty lies something inhuman.”
– Albert Camus
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January 2012
78 posts
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I went downstairs to find something to eat (I haven’t eaten today, it’s 6:20pm here) and unknowingly walked into the dinning room without realizing that everyone was tense and short with each other. Not 30 seconds later there was an argument. It’s embarrassing how little it takes for my family to start yelling at each other. My uncle took the opportunity to start badgering me...
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It’s so easy to restrict when I’m sick or have a cold. I know I should eat something, but it feels impossible to do that right now. Normally I would be swimming in the mornings, and exercising usually makes me feel better about eating, but obviously I can’t swim until I’m better. I am planning on restricting, and the only thing I feel guilty about is the fact that I...
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Drinking tea and hacking out my lungs...colds +...
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“You cannot live on hope alone, but without it life is not worth living.”
– Harvey Milk
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My cold has gotten worse and now it’s in my lungs, which isn’t good because I have asthma and another breathing disorder, and it takes forever for my body to recover from lung infections. Last time this happened I was on antibiotics and steroids for several months before I started to get better. I’m hoping that this stays a cold and doesn’t develop into something worse.
I...
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“If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide,
If cool my...”
– Dorothy Parker, The Complete Poems of Dorothy Parker
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I’ve done nothing but read Harry/Draco fanfiction today, though in my defense I’m sick (again) and don’t feel up to doing much else. I’m trying to enjoy the laziness, tomorrow I have to actually do school work, I’m rather behind in calculus.
This week will be the first in a while that I actually have things to do (besides my normal swimming and schoolwork). I have...
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